The Best Piece Of Advice I Was Given About Empathy
8 year ago, I was learning to develop better feedback skills.
At the time, I thought I had a great toolset built.
Then… I received an unforgettable piece of advice from a source I wasn’t expecting.
Like most beginners giving feedback, I was making a lot of mistakes:
- not judging them (internally or externally)
- not understanding their perspective
- not recognizing their emotions
to name a few.
Until one day, a friend at Apple shared a Brené Brown video with me.
Maybe you know the one…
It’s animated and discusses the difference between Empathy vs. Sympathy
“Rarely can a response make something better. What makes something better is connection.”
That day, my whole life changed.
Now, I had the permission to be present in conversations.
To recognize their emotions as truth.
To slow down and just listen.
Sometimes that’s all we need:
someone we can talk to who will let us talk.
Let us share the hard things.
It takes being vulnerable from both sides.
Dr. Brown shared an example:
“I don’t know what to say right now, I’m just glad you told me.”
I’ve used this statement as a guide more times than I know.
Because, I wanted them to know I was there, in that moment, with them.
Here’s the video if you’ve not seen it yet. I tend to watch it when I need it most.
See you tomorrow. Matt Cici
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