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The Best Piece Of Advice I Was Given About Empathy

8 year ago, I was learning to develop better feedback skills.


At the time, I thought I had a great toolset built.


Then… I received an unforgettable piece of advice from a source I wasn’t expecting.


Like most beginners giving feedback, I was making a lot of mistakes:

- not judging them (internally or externally)

- not understanding their perspective

- not recognizing their emotions

to name a few.


Until one day, a friend at Apple shared a Brené Brown video with me.


Maybe you know the one…


It’s animated and discusses the difference between Empathy vs. Sympathy


“Rarely can a response make something better. What makes something better is connection.”

That day, my whole life changed.


Now, I had the permission to be present in conversations.


To recognize their emotions as truth.


To slow down and just listen.


Sometimes that’s all we need:


someone we can talk to who will let us talk.


Let us share the hard things.


It takes being vulnerable from both sides.



Dr. Brown shared an example:

“I don’t know what to say right now, I’m just glad you told me.”

I’ve used this statement as a guide more times than I know.


Because, I wanted them to know I was there, in that moment, with them.


Here’s the video if you’ve not seen it yet. I tend to watch it when I need it most.





See you tomorrow. Matt Cici


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